[Move_The_Hand] Aftermath

[thisismyboomstick]

It's been several hours since the elevator incident, and night has fallen in Dearborne. Cheryl is curled up on the sofa, having finally managed to fall asleep, but she looks tense and ready to bolt at any minute. Ash isn't looking much better.


"We need to talk."

Those words are never good.

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[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

Sheila has perched herself on the window seat again, at the furthest end of the living room. She holds a bright pink mug emblazoned with the slogan "I Lost My Ass In Vegas" between palms which still tremble slightly from the shock she's been through.

She looks up when Ash speaks. "Aye," she agrees. But she has no idea where to begin, and so looks to him for guidance.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

Much as he doesn't want to pick that metaphorical scab, it's probably best to start at the beginning.


"What happened after I left?"

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

Sheila stiffens.

"I..." she begins. She looks up, meets his eyes in the glass, and turns around. "In the months after ye left, I...prayed I might concieve of a child of our union." She looks down at her lap, blushing. "T'was a pass of the moon, and my...courses ceased. Another pass, and I grew ill. I had attended to my mother's birthings afore, and understood the manner of a woman when she is breeding, but our midwife confirmed that I was with child."

"Celebration erupted among my people, but in Arthur I had confided my darkest worries...that the child might instead be a result of my forced coupling with that foul creature. He bade me stay in the tower room for my protection, with my ladies in waiting, with only brief moments outside for fresh air."

"In all of this I could not complain; I was fed and cossetted, and even in the severity of my illness I knew that I would be delievered of a fair child. They warned me oft that the child would not live. 'He is poorly set, Lady Sheila,' the midwife said. She said that there was some injury done to my body, and that it had done harm to the child. I had no memory, and could not help them - thus I lingered in worry, afraid that my child might be born a creature..." She swallows hard, shaking harder.

"Too soon my waters came, in the fifth month. The labor was long and hard." Her eyes fill with tears. "The moment I saw him, my worries ceased. He was ours, Ashley."

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He swallows hard, letting her getout as much of the story as she can. Cheryl shifts restlessly on the couch, startling them both.

"Go on."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

He's moved closer to her. He probably doesn't even know it.

She pauses to give Cheryl a look askance. "He lived beyond the first dawn, and so I foolishly had hope that he might live. Many babes are born small. But he could not breathe well. All I could do was sing to him, suckle him; he could suckle, and so I kept hoping foolishly that he would live on my love."

"I spoke to him of thee in constant, perhaps to share thy strength, to couple it with mine." Her eyes fall to his chest. "Arthur saw what I could not. The priest arrived on the second dawn to baptise him." She looks Ash in the eye. "Arthur knew the babe would not be accepted. He lied, said that we were handfast, that ye had left the bargain. And so he was baptized." A shuddering breath. "I called him Thomas, for my father. Thomas William."

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He's absolutely stunned by this news, but he forces himself to speak. He doesn't want Sheila to think he's mad at her when it's his own guilt that's nearly overwhelming him.

"It's a good name."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

Sheila manages a nod. This is killing her in ways she could never describe. "He died of a spasm some time past terce. I could not allow myself to believe him deceased....they...they gave me a tincture of poppy so that I would sleep...took him from me. They do not allow bodies to linger after sunset in Kandar. T'was necessary to...before he...before they could..."

She's shaking, her body and heart aching. "He looked like thee," she gasps out, before finally giving in to her impluse, her tears falling freely.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He tentatively wraps an arm around her, letting her take whatever comfort she can find from him.

"Thanks. I mean... for telling him about me."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

Sheila leans forward into his embrace, buring her face against his shoulder. Before she can stop herself, she's clinging to the front of him, her face buried in his neck, tears coursing down his neck. He's all the comfort in the world to her, should he but know it.

After a long time, a lot of clinging, she finally raises her head. His eyes are suspiciously moist. Sheila finally gathers her shattered thoughts. "Ye were his father. Tis his right to know of thee..." She looks him in the eyes. "How can ye bear to touch me? I failed thee," she says. It's all she can say. She failed him, and the baby should be with them now, and not just one of the many bodies buried in the cemetary outside the palace.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

There's so much wrong about that that he can't even say it. All he can do is shake his head and keep holding her.

"No."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

She shakes her head violently. "Tis the fault of the mother when the child dies." That was what she was told. "I might have kept him warmer...or..." Then she starts really sobbing, the sort of gut-wrenching sound that comes from the depths of her body.

Sheila could not cry before, could not conjure anything but rage for months. But now, in Ash's arms, she crumbles. Somewhere in the depths of herself, she knows that in telling him she's finally allowing herself to grieve. It's as if she were waiting to be with him so she could do it.

At last, she pulls away. "I was a fool, to try to keep a piece of thee through such ways."

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

Her last remark drives the guilt even deeper, but his usual bluntness comes through.

"Bullshit."

Short and to the point. He winces as he says it, though.

"Sometimes... it's nobody's fault."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

She doesn't mean to make it hurt. She really doesn't. "I so wish ye could have met him. He was beautiful, Ashley." She tugs on his hair. "He had thy waves. And thy eyes."

"Aye, I was a wee, young fool. I thought myself in love, and fancied thee in love with me." She shakes her head. "But ye didnae love me then, Ashley."

She deliberately leaves the possibility of him loving her now up for grabs.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He knows she doesn't mean to, but she's giving him the old one-two punch to the gut all the same.

"Really?"

It's a bit unclear what he's replying to. He holds her closer anyway.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

"Aye," she says. "I keep a lock within a pendant." She pulls out a small silver-plated locket from the pocket of her skirt and very carefully opens it to show him. Within lies a small black lock of hair with a full curl.

"Arthur cut it for me," she says. And after he's looked his fill she closes it and returns it to her pocket.

Her hands tentatively move to his collarbone, skirting gently up his shoulders and the nape of his neck.

"I believed it to be so. Ye didnae love me..."

She doesn't care that he smells like rotting flesh and has cheeks stained with deadite blood. Unde the scent of rotting flesh there's the scent of musk and pine, and his body is warm and solid. She can feel his metal hand pressing against the small of her back; they're almost face-to-face in the dim light.

"Did ye?"

She sounds bewildered.

Her lips are inches from his.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

It would be so easy to fall into his usual pattern of acting before he thinks, but something's stopping him. He's never been great with words (hello, understatement) but this feels too important.

"I did." And what a shitty way to come to that realization. "But it wasn't as easy as all that."

He touches the locket gingerly, as if he's afraid he'll break it. Which, in a vaguely metaphorical way, is exactly what he is worried about.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

Some part of her's grateful for his stopping. The other part of her lurches in dissapointment. The closeness is vital to her sense of equilibrium right now - she needs him close to her skin for the next few beats of her heart.

"Oh." Her voice is small, wounded. "We did say 'twas best for ye to go home. For things to remain as they were..." She leans into his chest, resting her chin there. "If ye loved me, why did ye go without me?"

She takes the hand that's holding the locket and rubs his knuckles, gently. He should know she's really made of iron under it all. This is but a weak moment that she'll trandscend with their combined strength.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

The real answer - and all the fears associated with it - is too hard to explain.

"Would you have come with me if I'd asked?"

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

"In the flutter of a wing, or the beat of a heart. All that held me to my time was my father, and our relations had grown...exceedingly difficult during my lying-in."

she's still rubbing his hand, and tucking her head against his neck.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He's still letting that sink in, but he's grateful for the fact that she's close to him now.


"I don't know," he admits. "It was.. complicated."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

"Aye." She sighs. "It is not every day a man drops from the sky." She looks up at him. "Had ye...another in this time that ye wished to see? Aside from thy Linda." He has told her of Linda; she respects his memory of her, but well, she wants to know.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He shakes his head emphatically. "No. No one else."

You were the only one I left.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

With one hand on his, the other slips up to cup his cheek. She thinks she understands, now. "They cannot have me either, Ashley."

I am the only one who ever came back.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

"They almost did."


... Way to be awkward, Ash.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

This declaration goes quite a way toward undoing the knot of guilt he still feels. Leaning into her embrace, he plants a quick kiss on her head, not trusting himself to go any further. (At least, not yet.)

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

His cheek gets kissed for that. She has to crane her neck a bit to do it, but she does. Then the side of his jaw, and the tip of his chin, and his nose...

There is just a moment of hesitation before she moves forward, and presses her lips against his.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

There's the briefest moment of hesitation before he returns the kiss, running his hand through her hair. After a moment or two, he pulls away just enough to look her in the eye.

"You sure about this?"

He knows she is, but he's asking anyway.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

She's just a little breathless. "Aye. I could not be more sure of myself, or of thee." She presses her forehead against his. "Ashley, I love thee," she admits and kisses him again.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

Really, there's nothing else to do at this point but say it.

"Love you too."

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

She's still a little breathless from the kissing. "Truly? In faith and honesty?"

Then, still holding him. "May I sleep the eve? I am not...that is I..." she's blushing just a little. She means she's not asking him if he wants to sleep WITH her, she's asking if he wants to sleep TOGETHER.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

"Really."

He understands what she's saying. The other way would feel like too much, too soon, even with their history. He nods.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

There is a little sigh of relief when he says this. "We should bathe afore. We are rather...filthy." They would confess their love for one another while covered in Deadite blood and monster gack. Why does everything sound like an innuendo, now?

"Ye do not mind sharing a pallette with me? We have nay truly...slumbered in tandem."

All of their time in bed before was spent in other activities.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

He gives her an odd look. "No. Why the hell would I mind?"

True, he's not exactly the most romantic guy in the universe, but it's not like he's allergic to cuddling.

"Shower's definitely a good idea, though." He reaches over and wipes a bit of goo from her cheek.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

"La, I may snore," she teases.

She reaches up to run her fingers through his hair. "Aye. It has begun to dry in thy hair." It feels just a little brittle against her fingertips.

Watch her not suggest they shower together, even though she thinks it's a good idea.

[ash--evildead.livejournal.com]

"If you snore louder than me, I'll be impressed."

(He's only partly kidding.)

Moving away reluctantly, he offers her a hand up.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

"Ye have dimples. I did not know this." Each get a kiss (slime covered or no) when she stands up.

"This remains to be discovered, milord."

But she's willing to find out.

[maid-of-kandar.livejournal.com]

She forgives his awkward. She always will. "Aye. But they did not keep me, or thee. They do not have our boy..." She holds him more firmly. "They may snap at our heels, and make threats, and try to hold us, but they cannot keep us. We are quicker than they. And together?" She holds his head still, forcing him to look her in the eye. "We can triumph over their wiles."